The answer is yes you do; you look seriously fat in that. What!!??? No man in this world would be brave enough to say this to his lady standing six feet away from him, as they get ready to leave the house. Women may find it easier however, to tell it like it is to their man, but it’s so difficult to come out of this one unscathed.
The reason someone with zero emotional intelligence would respond in this way is quite simply, we are not moving enough, and the amount and quality of our food is not in proportion to what we want from our lives. If you wanted to look strong in that shirt, drinking twelve beers every weekend for the last six months was not a great choice! Looking slim in that dress means not sitting on the couch after work every night!
It’s possibly one of the most dreaded questions that any man can be asked. Once those words are released from their lady’s lips, the silence in the room is deafening as the man’s brain scrambles frantically for an appropriate answer that won’t immediately ruin the night. All of a sudden getting briefly distracted may gain you a bit of time to craft an appropriate response…Did I turn off the oven?
Saying yes means you better get used to single life again, and saying no means you are lying to the love of your life! Now, more and more women are faced with the same dilemma as their man poses a similar question, “How does this look?”. Thankfully for women, this is an open ended question that can be taken anywhere they’d like to go with it. A simple “I prefer the other one”, and they’re off the hook. How odd that one simple question can cause such relationship turmoil.
Instead of focusing on fat, why not focus on fit. How would it change the conversation if we asked our partners, “Do I look fit in this?”. Immediately your brain searches for the positives…OK I can see a strong chest and great forearms, or her shapely arms and strong, toned legs look fantastic.
Really, if we focus on what’s behind the question, we will find that all the other person is asking for is a compliment of some kind. Do your partner a favour and give them the helping hand they need by asking the better question.
In John Millers intriguing book QBQ: The Question Behind the Question, he pushes accountability and how you must take ownership of where you are in this moment of your life. Don’t blame your partner or friend for their honest response, but look towards taking the steps to change their future response.
Put your focus on being fit and not just looking fit. A man with big biceps, a chiseled chest and bulging legs is not hugely appealing to women if they see he can’t run fifty metres down the street without gasping for air. If he can’t get up and down off the ground easily, or climb a ladder with confidence, then they are not good signs. His muscles must represent what he can do. They must represent protection, strength, hard work, and the ability to care for his family.
Your ability to move is tested in life, be that play wrestling with your children, preventing a dangerous situation through quick responses, or being sharp enough to think on your feet. Life is so full on these days that just having the energy to kiss your family goodnight at the end of a day is a triumph. When you focus on movements that our modern lives have neglected, you will be fit and look fit as your body responds to the ways it was built to move.
4 Fun ways to kick start your built-in movement patterns:
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Fall out of bed in the morning
I don’t mean launching yourself out of bed in the hope of making it to your bedroom door in one go! What we are really interested in is getting up after you worm your way onto the floor. For such a simple action, we don’t lift ourselves up and down from a lying or sitting position nearly enough each day. As you lift your entire body up to a standing position, hundreds of muscles are fired and pushed to get you upright. Your small stabilizing and balancing muscles are strengthened which, over time, makes us a lot sturdier on our feet. The result? Much less chance of us falling in the future and smashing one of those two lovely hips of ours.
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Jump Around!
From a simple hop to a giant leap, the art of propelling ourselves forward is being lost from our day to day lives. We are no longer on high alert to jump out of the way of an oncoming horse and carriage or jump over logs and streams while being chased by a wild animal.
The closest we get in modern times may be to skip over a rather large puddle in the street! Jumping increases your power and agility while also being an excellent leg muscle developer. Reactivate this dormant skill by making jumps part of your daily workout, or simply play a game of hop scotch with a young child, neighbour or friend as a gentle start.
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One lap House Crawl
Crawling has to be one of our most underused skills as humans. Once we peel ourselves from the floor at two years of age, we never look back! Life has made the surfaces we walk on so uniform that we now find it hard to cope with uneven ground. Watch people go nuts when they are nudged slightly off balance by a loose pavement stone.
Crawling as an exercise is wonderful to engage your core and ignite those stabilizer muscles. Crawling on your hands and toes is a great all over body move and should be looked at as an excellent finisher move at the end of a session, to really make sure you’ve pushed yourself hard. Try crawling forward ten metres, then backwards ten metres before finishing with three burpees. Repeat this five times. A quick lap of your house also works if working out at home!
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Climb Something!
I was fortunate as a child to be surrounded by trees. As children we didn’t think twice about going as fast or as high up those trees as we could. It came so natural to us and we just loved sitting in them and pushing ourselves that one branch higher. I certainly got a few whacks from branches as I fell from my perch numerous times, but once the thud of the ground came, I was back on my feet trying to conquer another tree.
I admit, it would be odd to see groups of adults sitting around in the neighborhood’s trees, but next time you’re passing a playground or taking your own children there, do your body a favour and get stuck into those monkey bars. There’s something about reaching, swinging and grabbing something as you climb it that’s just so naturally satisfying!
Adjusting your lifestyle, just a little, to begin incorporating these four natural movements will do wonders for your mobility, balance and flexibility. These natural movements will lead to a natural and balanced looking body. You may get a few strange looks from your friends when they catch you crawling around your house, or having more fun than your children at the playground, but watch how your body feels and progresses. I think you’ll be asking the question, “Do I look fit in this?” a lot more often.